I've had thoughts lately about certain Christmas songs. If you'll take a gander at my previous post, you will see that I generally spend a lot of time thinking about Christmas music. You might say too much time and, if you did, you might be right, but I've accepted it. Moving on.
Let me start out with a few stanzas from the popular holiday tune, "Baby, It's Cold Outside":
Woman: I really can't stay
Man: Baby, it's cold outside
Woman: I've got to go away
Man: Baby, it's cold outside...
Woman: My mother will start to worry
Man: Beautiful, what's your hurry?
Woman: Father will be pacing the floor
Man: Listen to the fireplace roar
Woman: So really I'd better scurry
Man: Beautiful, please don't hurry
Women: Maybe just a half a drink more
Man: Put some records on while I pour
Woman: The neighbors might think
Man: Baby, it's bad out there
Woman: Say, what's in this drink?
Say, what? "What's in this drink?"??!
Now, I may be reading this wrong, but I'm pretty sure a guy just slipped some drugs into this girl's drink. She notices. And yet she stays?? On what planet does that make sense?
Of course, I might also be compelled by his argument. I don't love the cold, and I always avoid being cold if at all possible, so if it really were blizzarding outside, I would seriously consider accepting his offer. If it were truly dangerous outside, he could simply be concerned about her health and well-being. But then HE PUTS SOMETHING IN HER DRINK. Good heavens, lady, do you think this guy is drugging you so you two can play another round of Monopoly or watch Mickey's Christmas Carol? A clue: NO.
Seriously, though, this song is like a precursor to date rape.
You will notice that I put "Baby, It's Cold Outside" (the Zooey Deschanel/Leon Redbone version) on this year's Official Christmas Playlist, but the more and more I listen to it, the more disturbing it becomes. On top of that, Leon Redbone sounds like he's twice Zooey's age (TRUTH: he was born in 1949, and she was born in 1980). Yikes. A big yikes.
Of course, this is not the only problematic Christmas song. I could go on about the drunk grandmother who gets run down by a reindeer because she's wandering outside alone on Christmas Eve (elder abuse!) or that Santa Claus watches children while they sleep (voyeurism?!), but I'll save that for another day, perhaps, or not write about it at all.